Creative insults

Welcome to the “Creative Insults” spin wheel, where you can generate cutting-edge verbal barbs with a spin! Whether you land on “You look like something I would draw with my left hand” or “You’re as deep as a puddle in a parking lot,” you’ll have a unique insult ready for any occasion. Did you know that insults have been around for centuries, with Shakespeare famously mastering the art in his plays? Spin the wheel and unleash your wit with these cleverly crafted insults!

Entries

I've seen salad that dresses better than you
You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy
Can I have the name of your hair salon, I need to know where not to go
I forgot the word revolves around you! My bad
You seem to be suffering from delusions of adequacy
My days of not taking you seriously have come to a middle.
You do a great job combing your hair. It’s impressive how you’re able to hide the horns.
You have a face for radio.
Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
If you were a spice, you’d be flour
You may have a sparsely attended funeral.
I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?
You’re like a lighthouse in a desert: bright but not very useful.
Don’t worry—the first 30 years of childhood are always the hardest.
May your life be as pleasant as you are.
You’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue.”
Your biscuit’s not done in the middle
You’re just like a Russian doll—full of yourself.
Your face is just fine. It’s your personality that’s the issue.
Whatever is eating you must be suffering terribly.
You’ve got all the tact of a bowling ball.
I do not have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
You have the attention span of an ice cream in July.
I will not have a battle of wits with someone who is unarmed.
You look like something I would draw with my left hand.
Why do you look like an envelope with no address on it?
You were a slippery baby.
May the chocolate chips in your cookies always turn out to be raisins.
You have your entire life to be a knucklehead. You can take today off.
Who ate your bowl of sunshine this morning, thundercloud?
You are proof that the universe has a sense of humor.
Where’s your off button?
You must have gotten your brain from your other parent.
You changed your mind? Does this one work any better?
I’m surprised and pleased—but a little more surprised than pleased.
Sorry, it’s hereditary.
Don’t be a screen door on a submarine.
It’s great to see that you don’t let your education get in the way of your ignorance.
Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
You’re as sharp as a rubber ball.
I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one.
You’re the reason tubes of toothpaste have instructions on them.
You’re as deep as a puddle in a parking lot.
You remind me of a slightly tilted picture frame.
Stupidity is not a crime. You’re free to go.
I would describe your personality as a vibrant shade of beige.
You don’t need to fear success. You have nothing to worry about.
Right now, you are as useful as a soup sandwich.
If you ever had a thought, it would die of loneliness.
I’m not saying you’re ugly, but maybe you should start walking backward.
This is why the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
Who’s using the family brain cell at the moment?
You have the charisma of a wet sock
You’d struggle to pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
You are not the most gullible person on earth, but you’d better hope that person doesn’t die.
Guess you’re not as dumb as you look. How could you be?!
My life may be a joke, but it’s not as funny as your outfit.
You should use glue instead of chapstick.
You have the same sense of direction as Christopher Columbus.
You continue to meet my expectations.
Where have you been all my life? I don’t know, but I wish you were still there.
The key to happiness is to live without regrets and embrace your mistakes. Hug?
You’re entitled to your incorrect opinion.
You look easy to draw.
You look smarter in pictures.
I'm still deciding whether you're the weakest link or the missing link.
You are an oxygen bandit.
I've had bowel movements more attractive than you.
You do you. Because God knows no one else will.
Don't worry, someday the other one will drop.
You look like a "before" picture.
What doesn't kill you disappoints the rest of us.
Did you develop your personality in a car crash?
Being bitter won't make you prettier.
I envy everyone who hasn't met you.
You are proof that evolution is bullshit
If ignorance is bliss, you must be ecstatic at all times.
You'd fail a personality test.
Out of all the sperm to win the race...
The only time you're not as dumb as you look is when I close my eyes.
Your pH level is 14.
Imagine how many crises would have been averted if your parents bothered to use a condom.
You look like someone fed you after midnight.
Even Bob Ross would call you a mistake.
If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I'd get change back.
Our parents told us we could be anything, and you chose "disappointment."
I think of you often. On trash day.
You're a sentient menstrual cramp.
If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them cute.
If your IQ were just a little higher you could be an idiot.
I expect nothing and am still disappointed.
If genius skips a generation, your parents must be masterminds.
Your mom wishes the stork left a gift receipt with you.
If zombies tried eating your brains, they'd starve.
If you were any dumber I'd have to water you once a day.

95 entries

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Creative insults